Monday, May 16, 2011

5/16/11



Los Angeles, CA

I spent a few hours celebrating
at a tea party table of wives and a soon-to-be
and I felt the excitement of what it must be like
to be about to start your life with someone.

Lonely.

Amiee Mann said it best: One is the loneliest number
that you'll ever do...
Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number
since the number one.

I've been two and one and two again and always felt
this missing piece or this untouched part
of my heart that remains untapped, like maybe
if I knew where it was, or how to get in there
I would know better who to let in or to tell him
how to handle it, so that I don't get so scared
and run.

All these thoughts clouded my head as I painted a smile,
drained my cup four times over and ran to the bathroom,
trying to tune out Aimee Mann,
and felt genuine happiness for a woman who is yet more proof to me
that it is possible to feel something other than alone.

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Huntsville, AL

Thank you, Debbie for my happy balloons,
rather then an embarassing yard sign
announcing to the world,
that yes, I am officially 30.

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