7/5/11

Huntsville, AL

Watching my boy wave the American flag, while fireworks went off 

made me a proud mama. 

He loves his country as much as I do.

Happy 4th of July, America! 

6/23/11

Huntsville, AL

My four year old told me he had something to show me.

As I walked into his room, he started to sing.

"Noah and the Ark, Noah and the Ark."

It was a made up song of course.

I looked down and noticed that he had lined

up all of his animals, leading to a play ark from 

his little brother's toys.

He really put a smile on my face.

We read his children bible almost every night,

or as he calls it, "fival."

This one, important, story from the bible,

touched his little heart,

which touched mine,

and I'm sure, God loved it too. 

6/1/11

Los Angeles, CA

I don't know what VALA means to this Mercedes,
but I took this as a sign that I need to remember
to reconnect with old friends whom I think of often, call sometimes,
and miss all the time - almost as much as the barefoot girls,
I miss the memories we made in the back yard, with the sprinklers
running and bikini tops preening from innocent skin...driving around town
to get a big gulp when the sprinklers stopped being enough
to cool down...when a run across town was all it took to cry on the shoulder
of someone who understood what it meant to not be enough - and
if she didn't, she still listened patiently, with wild, scared eyes. That night
when another moved and we went back to her old house to clean out
the cupboards and run up and down the stairs, testing
how many times we could listen to that Pearl Jam song
in between houses. 14, if I remember correctly. Eddie Vedder painted
the soundtrack to that last summer, when we tested our parents
and ourselves - out 5 nights in a row, 2 sips of beer
turned into pools of tears, and then we took that final hug
before we all went off and became the littlest versions
of our adults selves. Started writing our memoirs
as we packed our bags, made promises that at some point became
just too hard to keep for some. And for others, we write, and we do call,
and sometimes the phone rings and rings, but eventually you hear a voice
on the other line. A baby crying in the background, Eddie Vedder or new lyrics
on the page of another. We read to weave ourselves into each others' days,
we write to give a hug from one to Alabama, to Virgina.

VALA: I don't know what you mean to a Hollywood Mercedes,
but I know what you mean to me.

5/31/11

Los Angeles, CA

Rasta dog: she looks good in hats.

5/30/11

Los Angeles, CA

Everything is better with a straw in it.

5/23/11

Huntsville, AL

I took the boys to the Botanical Garden,

and my four year old loved it.

There were fish, butterflies, tree houses, 

and water to play in.

It was a child's dream.

For me, it was quality time, in nature,

with my two little darlings.

5/16/11

Los Angeles, CA

I spent a few hours celebrating
at a tea party table of wives and a soon-to-be
and I felt the excitement of what it must be like
to be about to start your life with someone.

Lonely.

Amiee Mann said it best: One is the loneliest number
that you'll ever do...
Two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number
since the number one.

I've been two and one and two again and always felt
this missing piece or this untouched part
of my heart that remains untapped, like maybe
if I knew where it was, or how to get in there
I would know better who to let in or to tell him
how to handle it, so that I don't get so scared
and run.

All these thoughts clouded my head as I painted a smile,
drained my cup four times over and ran to the bathroom,
trying to tune out Aimee Mann,
and felt genuine happiness for a woman who is yet more proof to me
that it is possible to feel something other than alone.

**********************************************************************************

Huntsville, AL

Thank you, Debbie for my happy balloons,
rather then an embarassing yard sign
announcing to the world,
that yes, I am officially 30.

**********************************************************************************

5/13/11

Los Angeles, CA

Full moon waxed on the 13th as this shot
was taken from the ground
next to a grave at Hollywood Forever.

Feels a bit sacrilege to have fun in a cemetery, as well as
ironic that in the land of plastic surgeried-botoxed-smoothies,
you can be immortalized amongst hipsters frolicking
on Melrose.

I made sure to say a Hail Mary.

5/10/11

Huntsville, AL

 I took my time and enjoyed every minute,

with each flower that I passed by.

5/11/11

Mount Sidney, VA

I love the fact that my students cut out pictures of

my hubby, baby and me,

almost more than

I love the fact that they would do

anything

to brighten my day.

***************************************************************************

Huntsville, AL


Eating PB&J by candle light,
happy the only thing we lost that night,
was our electricity.

******************************************************************************

Los Angeles, CA

I took a picture of why my day always starts out
so depressing. Needless to say, the picture of the herd of dogs
under the bridge I drive under every day to get to my office,
didn't turn out.

It's probably for the best...
and maybe a sign that I should interpret their under-bridge huddle
as freedom to roam and an open diet.

Tomorrow, I will try not to be sad.

4.28.11

Los Angeles, CA

Momma's girl.

As I was cleaning out my closet, and creating a spread out mountain
of shoes, I turned around to see her planted directly in the middle.
Had I known, I wouldn't have been tossing them over my shoulder blindly,
but clearly she was missed each time and chose to make her home
in the middle of the storm.

**********************************************************************************

Mount Sidney, VA

I Love You Through and Through

yesterday

today 

and tomorrow, too.

4/26/11

Huntsville, AL

I looked out the window and saw him sitting there.

At first glance, I thought he must be playing with his ninja toys.

He wasn't, he was pouting.

I went outside to ask him if he was OK.

I started to worry a little.

Why, would my boy be so upset?

We were about to go to an Easter Egg Hunt.

After a few minutes he said it,

He had been asking all week to wear his

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume

and it had not happened.

Our days have been busy, rushed, and exhausting.

Two different nights he asked, and I had to re-tract my first yes, to No.

It was too late, he needed a bath, it's time for bed, I had said.

I promised he could wear it when we got home. 

I knew, no matter what, even if he had to sleep in it,

he was going to wear that costume. 

Funny, how children never forget

a promise!

4/25/11

Huntsville, AL

My cup runneth over me. 

Praise to you Lord Christ!

The Lord has risen indeed. 

Hallelujah!

4/22/11

Los Angeles, CA

The thing about LA is, it hardly ever rains. And so
when it does, we are never prepared. The cracks
in the sidewalk have to soak up the puddles
because no one thought to develop
any kind of drainage system.

Here's another thing: it didn't rain this week... and Stella
and I are still hopping puddles on our walk
from the water that rose up from out of nowhere
and created this Mary-Poppins-of-a-painting
in the middle of my morning.

If a tree can grow in Brooklyn, I guess it can grow
in the middle of a puddle on my sidewalk too.

4/21/11

Los Angeles, CA

Tonight, I feel like a 60-year old man, but coming home from work
at 8:00 at night seemed to warrant a fast and smooth
transition towards relaxation.

One of my coworkers thought she was paying me a compliment
and said that she wished she had done things differently, and waited
to get married, have babies. Maybe she would have risen the ranks as quickly,
me being younger and her boss and all.

When your 8:00 companion is a glass of whiskey, different
doesn't sound so bad. So I put the cap back on and allow myself
the hour before bedtime to feel just a little bit
sorry for myself.

4/20/11

Mount Sidney, VA

Does it get any better than

bare feet

toes in the grass

big smiles

two front teeth

Buddha belly

little girls?

I don't think so.

************************************************************************************

4/19/11

Huntsville, AL

Last night, there was a surprise knock on the door.

Gammie and Papa arrived with presents in toe!

Easter baskets, and boy are they beautiful!

The boys were as excited as I was.

I love unique, and special gifts that warm your heart.

Easter is truly the best time of year.

***********************************************************************************

 Mount Sidney, VA

I suppose this is what little girls do...

and I have to wonder if the 

"real" Henry will be next.

4/18/11

Los Angeles, CA

Looks like sometimes
Even water, love, and light,
Though they try, cannot be the

Glue that holds someone
On to life.

***********************************************************************************

Huntsville, AL

While I was in my company's break room getting a glass of water

I noticed something at the corner of my eye.

A hand print on a yellow note pad.

It was sitting next to a phone and some fliers.

How odd, I thought, until I remembered.

It was my child's hand print!

He had traced his small, delicate hand over a year ago.

It was Christmas Eve morning and I had to work.

I took Lucas with me and gave him chick-fil-a breakfast to keep him happy.

And he drew his hand on the yellow paper.

To my surprise, no one touched it.

I decided to leave it there, 

a small, happy reminder of my sweet boy in the most

random of places.

***********************************************************************************

 Mount Sidney, VA

How can something so pretty

possibly be considered a weed?

There has to be some really 

deep metaphor for this

and how my dandelion

is the prettiest flower 

of them all. 

4/14/11

Los Angeles, CA

Night 1 of Prince's 21 Night Stand Tour in Los Angeles at The Forum

When I was 5, I thought I was going to marry him.
Or Michael Jackson, whichever one would have me.
But I wasn't allowed to get married until I turned 30, according to my Mother.
After doing the math, I came to terms with the fact that I was going to have
a much older husband, either way
I flipped the coin.

I had no idea what his lyrics meant, just how sexually charged they were,
and it's probably for the best. But he is the one
who started me on my slow decline into a fiery passion-fueled fantasy
of what love should really sound like.

His sequined pants still ruin me.

************************************************************************************

Mount Sidney, VA

Krispy Cremes can make your day.

Even when they're a few days old.

Just heat for 8 seconds and you've got a glob

of gooey goodness.

4/13/11

Mount Sidney, VA

Protecting my new boots from the rain

wrapped tightly in my coat

as I run barefoot into

a nice restaurant.

Who cares about the feet and

the hair?

Frye boots are

priceless.

************************************************************************************

Huntsville, AL



************************************************************************************

4/12/11

Los Angeles, CA

Caught in the act.
She's had it rough lately, but still relaxing
is so tough.

****************************************************************************

Mount Sidney, VA

Another morning ritual is sitting with ducky. 

I love the funny little look on her face

and those super-tight

pajamas

and of course

that belly.

4/11/11

Mount Sidney, VA

She might be a summer bug

a phrase I just invented,

like "water bug"

meaning girl who loves the summer

warm weather

and long walks in the sunshine

she is in her element

in her tank top

shortie shorts and sun hat

leg up

just chillin'

singing into the wind.

***********************************************************************************

Huntsville, AL

Whether your Kate Middleton,
walking down the isle on your wedding day,
or celebrating your 4th birthday,
it's always fun to be a princess for the day.
Mackenzie was an adorable Princess!

*******************************************************************8

Los Angeles, CA

Sometimes this is all I can handle for dinner.
Cooking just isn't my thing.

4/8/11

 Mount Sidney, VA

Our new morning ritual

involves eating crackers in bed and

When I see that cute little face saying

"mo mo"

as in "more more"

pointing and making the baby sign language symbol,

I don't even mind the crumbs in the covers.

Love.

***********************************************************************************

4/7/11

Mount Sidney, VA

This is my view

as the captain

of her ship

every day

as we venture out into the

ocean of our little town

we soak up the sun

and ride the waves

of every passenger

in every passing car.

***********************************************************************************


Los Angeles, CA

The stacks of insanity only grow
on my desk, as I am constantly reminded
that non-profit work is tireless and difficult and never-
ending. I have to remind myself that I do love
this work - the people especially, on a daily baisis,
as I watch my desk slowly disappear under
piles of paperwork.

4/6/11

Huntsville, AL

There is something about a shimmery, Easter Egg.

Pastel in color, maybe chocolate on the inside.

I made an Easter Egg tree for my boys.

I have fond memories of holiday decorations in my house.

They were special, fun, and nostalgic. 

An Easter Egg tree is a great start to my collection.

Both boys stare at it with delight!

************************************************************************************

Mount Sidney, VA

Our afternoon walks 

are the highlight of my day. 

I bring my camera along

in hopes of finding something inspiring

and in the glaring sun

I often shoot without knowing

what will appear.

Today it was my extra large

shadow

standing

happy

among the flowers.

**************************************************************************************

4/5/11

Huntsville, AL

I'm writing this blog in silence. 

This is because my company blocked my beloved Pandora radio. 

Joe introduced me to Pandora a few years ago and I've been obsessed with it ever since. Pandora has introduced me to so many amazing artist that I may have never heard of otherwise.

I listened to Pandora every day while I mindlessly typed away at work. 

I have been known to sing out loud many times and not realize it. I know my co-worker is secretly happy it has been blocked because I am no American Idol. 

So, I sit and type, in silence.

Now realizing I'm going to have to listen to music the old school way, mixed cds!

*************************************************************************************

 Mount Sidney, VA

Her brother, the lab. 

Love in the purest form

is so fun to watch. 

************************************************************************************

4/4/11

Los Angeles, CA

Except for a cold gun that pierced me twice
in this spot, it is not a place
I would ever imagine
as welcoming warmth.

And then it was kissed
in the slightest of gestures
and my heart melted
just a little bit.

***************************************************************************************

Mount Sidney, VA

I love the tangled beauty

the mess of

weeds and flowers

discovered in the most

unlikely place.

*****************************************************************************************

 

 Huntsville, AL

We have crazy weather in Alabama.

I realized this the first time I heard a siren.

I was awoken at 1 am by this very loud noise and

it scared me to death! 

We've had tornado warnings a couple of times this year.

Schools closed early today.

I made it home before the hail started to pelt down.

I'm not so scared,

until I look at the picture above,

taken by a Baptist church 10 minutes away from my apartment.

Tornadoes, they don't mess around. 

4/1/11

Los Angeles, CA

When I was younger, change
was inevitable. Every 3 years
I got to become someone new.

I still have the bug, but am enjoying
what it feels like to have roots.

Buying a new comforter
every few months is but a small price
to pay for this exchange.





************************************************************************************

Huntsville, AL

Emma,

Even though I gave you up to my parents seven years ago,

and you sometimes drive me crazy

when you lick Sam in the face and wake him up from a nap....

I am very relieved you are still here with us.

*********************************************************************************** 

3/31/11

Los Angeles, CA

I have turned into one of those people.

I love it.










*************************************************************************************

3/30/11

Los Angeles, CA

I've already said I spend a lot of time in the car. But today -
today, the windows were rolled down and I got to feel
my hair blowing in my face.

It reminded me that I hate my hair when it's short, but also
that it will grow and I will never never never
make that mistake again.

And in the mean time, I will enjoy
the breeze that squeezes itself between the hills in the valley
and weaves its way through my windows
to a mix of Adele and Kanye
that I have picked to be the soundtrack of my 82 degree evening.

3/29/11

Los Angeles, CA

You know how they say you can hear birds
chirping, the sky seems more
blue, and it's just easier
to smile when you are 7th grade girl giddy
after finding a note from a secret admirer in your locker?

Today, everything I see has a ring of sunshine around it.

3/28/11

Los Angeles, CA

I spend a lot of time in the car -
regularly. Which is why my car is packed
with gadgets and, embarassingly, trash... and work.
Folders and binders of trainings I've taught and attended, remnants of time
Stella has spent in the car, and a breakfast dish I made for a brunch
with friends about a year ago. Egg that I can't scrub free.

I hate wasting so much time in the car, but in LA
it's inevitable. And now a prospect...making a long drive,
heart racing, mind buzzing, butterflies propelling
me down the 405.

Tonight, I don't hate car time quite so much.